I’ve got to make a change and it is going to be a struggle.  It seems like everything I do is a challenge and involves struggle.  And part of me (okay, almost all of me) just want things to be a bit easier.  I am hoping to document this journey in conjunction with using some writing prompts – today’s prompt is the word “struggle”.

For the next eight weeks, I need to go on a very low calorie, low carb diet.  And it is going to be a struggle.  But I have struggled before and conquered fears, insecurities, grief, trauma, attacks, self-recrimination, etc.  And I expect that all of these will enter the picture once again as I seek to rectify decades of refined carbohydrate ingestion.

I’ve learned over the past five decades that there are a couple of ways to get started – because you know, it is often really, really hard to get started.

(1)  Change my mindset.  Here is an example of a bad mindset.  I have a certain genetic makeup and/or genetic training that results in my being quite challenged to keep my weight under control.  If you were to look at my father and his mother (and no doubts others before them) and me, you would see that we have very similar body types and shapes.  Whether this is by nature or nurture is perhaps somewhat irrelevant.  [I’ve been reading Gabor Mate’s book – In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – which examines some of the nature vs. nurture evidence in terms of addictions – I highly recommend it.]  I realize that I have been trained somehow to believe that I am “doomed” to my genetic heritage. However, in the past, I have been able to get out of that by a change of mindset.  I am not doomed to my genetic heritage at all.  Rather, I can be a healthy and fit person with the right practices.  In fact, I could go so far as to say that I am a healthy and fit person who has been derailed by my own programming.  The reprogramming must begin.

(2)  Make little changes and let growth/achievement be organic.  Today I am making little changes in preparation for this struggle.  This morning, I made an omelette.  Usually, I make 3-egg omelettes.  So, without thinking, and letting my programming do the thinking for me, I cracked 3 eggs for the omelette.  Fortunately, I saw that I had done that and then a struggle of values occurred.  I hate wasting.  But I hate the health issue I have as well. Should I just this one last time use 3 eggs?  Or should I throw out and waste the extra egg? I threw out the extra egg.  Both values are good, but I need to make a little change and this feeds into changing my mindset as well.  My mind will remember that I made this choice and that will help me make the same choice again and again and again.

It sounds like these are mind games.  Indeed they are in a sense.  But I am hoping that they are more a way of reprogramming the bad programming that has been done.

I am up for the struggle.  After all, Jerusalem is on top of a hill and the climb is not easy. To get to our destination takes struggle.  Struggle is inherent in this journey upward.

“…we must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God…”  Acts 14:22



4 thoughts on “Struggle

  1. Kathy-I’ve been following your blog posts re your foray into the blood sugar diet and am fascinated. I too have struggled with my weight and my nicotine addiction. I am 30 days cigarette free and have been faithfully walking and tracking calories. I feel better. I feel more in control. And I’ve started to lose some weight! Keep up all the good work sister!

    1. Wow! Congrats on 30 days! And for the walking. I always stalk you on fb for your gardening. I need to get this weight off of me. Seriously. Thank you so much for your encouragement. If you want a great no-sugar-added banana bread recipe, let me know.:)

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