Saturday, I went for my second swim. This time, my upper body experienced no pain which was very encouraging. I’m not a big fan of “no pain, no gain” philosophy. I was hoping to do a repeat of the 30 lengths I did on Thursday. The first length I felt so strong. Then I gradually got weaker and weaker. I did 10 lengths and paused. There were a couple of other swimmers in the lap pool. One of the other swimmers was pretty strong. Never seemed to stop and his pace was good.
Swam another 10 lengths and paused to look around….the other swimmer was still going strong.
Swam another 10 lengths and paused to look around…the other swimmer was STILL going strong. He could swim much faster than me, but I was determined to outlast him.
Swam yet another 10 lengths and paused…finally! He was gone. That was my cue to leave as well…I could not have done any more lengths anyways. I was absolutely exhausted. I hoisted myself out of the pool – it took all of my strength to do so, and I was actually concerned I might not make it. A surreal light-headedness overtook me as I made my way to my towel, carefully putting one foot in front of the other. I took my time towelling off, trying to hide the fact that I could barely stand up! After a few minutes, I began making my way to the women’s locker room which seemed at least a mile away at this point. I found myself uncontrollably listing to the right as I tried to keep the “W” in focus. I laughed as I considered the plight my competitiveness, stubbornness and as my friend Linda calls it – ego, got me into.
On the other hand, once home, I revelled in the feeling of exhaustion and powerlessness. I knew at that moment that if God wanted something done, He was going to have to do it or inject me with supernatural power to do it. And it was a relief to know that. My wet-noodle body climbed into bed and it was lights out until Sunday morning.
I wish I was more prone to willingly let God have His way in my life without the exhaustion it currently requires for me to do so.